To the tree, the bells
by Michi-Dae
Summary: Life's a tragedy, and then, it starts all over again. To wish for the greatness, for the power. Can Suzuki Ume achieve her ambitions and find on her second life, what she lost without even achieving on her first? "The weak fall, but the strong will remain and never go under!"
1. The Weak One

**Unfortunately, I don't own Naruto, if I did, Naruto wouldn't wear orange, and I'd be freaking rich. I'm not.**

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_''To sing the perfect song,_  
_And by a half-tone lose the key,_  
_There the potent sorrow, there the grief,_  
_The pale, sad staring of Life's Tragedy.''_

_Paul Laurence Dunbar_

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Sometimes life likes to play games. No, let me rephrase it.

Sometimes, life acts like a _bitch._

I died. I accepted the fact that all I had ever accomplished was useless, meaningless, when I lost my life. No, scratch that. When MY LIFE was taken from me. But, I had a honorable death, I am happy to say, I died giving my life for a good cause.

It was a peaceful Saturday and I decided to walk in the park, the sun was warm on my skin, and on the other side of the stream the kids were playing near the forest, there was no adults around, mind you, and it made me remember that my parents **never** left me alone when I was their age, sure, they were laughing and doing things that kids were supposed to do, but even still, I had a bad feeling, and quickly I said a little pray to the kids. Nowadays, we never know when something bad can happen. That note was going to bite me in the ass later. Brushing aside my worries, I stopped to buy something to eat, thinking about my currently state of life.

I was happy, my life was working out, and I had graduated from hell's-hole, to Hell's-Freaking-Future-Door. Yep, I was going to a university, I had earned my own little house, doing small things like translating documents, hack systems aka hack/stalk- for-coughsomeonecoughgirls, sell test answers, among other not-so-legal _ahem!_ Activities. Beggars can't be choosers. Goddamit! I had hacked the Japanese System of Security _and _got away with it. It means something! It's like winning the Nobel Prize privately. Of course, I never told anyone, because as much as I am happy with my achievements, I was sane, I mean, you just don't tell your _mom_ you committed a crime. Knowing mine, she'd take me to the police station. So, as you can guess, my extra-activities were always kept quietly. It's not my fault their cybersecurity sucks. They're supposed to be the best, if they can be broken by a 17 years old girl, what does that mean to our country? We could be attacked at any moment. I became paranoid after hacking _them_, I even planned me and my family escape-rote, straight out of the country. Nevertheless, it was a good, nice, and peaceful day. But then… something happened.

One of the kids started to scream, it was not the normal I-am-hurt, or I-am-faking-crying scream, it was a_ horrified_ scream, alarmed, my maternal instinct kicked in, and I just knew I had to go to the kids. So, I ran as fast as I could, passing through the bridge like a thunder. The kids were panicking, as efficiently as I could, I hushed them, and when they stopped crying I asked what the problem was. To my absolutely horror, they told me, one of the kids was taken by a man. It was a little girl, her name was Aki, she liked dolls, she was seven years old, and had a bright future ahead of her. The man told her he had a dolls house, she refused to go but he took her by force.

My mind quickly warned me, and before I could stop myself, news I didn't pay attention started to go through my head, like when you slownly wake up and the dream you had start to crawl its way to your brain, and you just know it.

* * *

_The police is trying to find the seventh victim of the Kids-maniac that has been around lately, the last victim was taken from a open place, a carnival park, in the middle of the day, and her body was found on a landfill a week later. According to the legists, she suffered from sexual and physical abuses that together, contributed to her death. The authorities are doing their best to find the kids-maniac but to no avail, the population is scared, and the Mayor declared…_

_According to the kids interrogated, he was a handsome man, on his late twenties, nice, polite. Black eyes, brown hair, and a pretty smile. Proving that appearances, can be deceiving,_

_I just want my kid back, please, I'll do anything…give me her back!_

_What kind of monster does that to a seven years old kid?_

_I'd make a deal with the devil to get my son back._

_I just wish… he died. If I could see he now, I'd kill him._

* * *

Something inside me snapped. And without a second thought I ran inside the forest, I was not going to let a seven years old kid die when I could do something, and do something I would. The adrenaline kicked in, and I was shaking from fear and rage. That kid- Aki! I would save her, take her by the hand and lecture her mother- and the other kids' parents- about how to take care of a kid properly. And they _would_ listen. The ground was unleveled, the forest was full of exposed roots that constantly worked together to slow me down. I didn't scream her name, no, that would just make the monster run faster. I needed to lull him in a false sense of security and from there I would work. I ran as quietly as I could. Using all the stamina my body had acquired from my martial arts lessons, barely noticing the scratches my body was suffering when hit by logs, random branches, and sharp leaves. I had run a good half hour non-stop and my body was hot and sticky, I was out of breath and half limping, I was almost sure I had twisted my ankle, I stopped suddenly when I heard voices. Approximately twenty meters ahead of me, a kid cried.

–NO! I WANT MY MOMMY! Where is my-mmmhp! – The girl- Mary, was being forced into the ground, it looked like a shelter under the earth, the open-gate was hide, and it was almost impossible to notice, she was shoved inside it, but she fought, and was award with a kick in the face that made she fall without support inside the shelter, she cried, and the man, he was tall, went inside quickly, his back was turned to me, thinking quickly I ran before he could completely close the gate and grabbing the first thing, that happened to be a log, I put it inside the gate, making him unable to close the gate, no matter how hard he pulled the gate, at that moment I was not afraid, I was angry, so angry, I didn't care about the consequences of my actions, he was going down one way or another. The sound of glass shattering and a curse broke through the ground.

Giving up, he pushed the gate at once, my already twisted ankle was trapped, it was too heavy for me to lift, and his head pocked outside the open round gate, with my butt on the ground I was hardly a treat to a man, heavier, and taller than me. He gave me a awful, disgusting smile, without think I throwed my body ahead and took a good chunk of his hair on my hands, pulling it hard enough to make him lose his balance and hit his head on the opening of the gate. He cursed and blood flew out of his head. It was a small cut but, was I ever glad. My momentum of happiness was brushed aside as a fly when his hand hit my face hard enough to make my vision go black for a second or two, he got out of the shelter quickly and pure fear made me pothole using my only health leg, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the kid start crawling out of the gate, her face was a ugly angry red, swelling. Holding his leg before he could get up I used all my strength to scream at the kid. Scream is a good motivator, it snap people out of the shock.

– GO! NOW! RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK! TELL PEOPLE WHERE WE ARE! GO! DON'T STO– I was cut by a foot in the face, but it worked, the girl started to run like no tomorrow, she'd make it safely, me? It was other case, now I just had to hold him for at least twenty minutes.

His foot meet my face one more time. And this time, I used my willpower to hold him still, as quickly as I could I pulled my abused ankle under the gate and throwed myself on him, biting his throat, where I knew his carotid artery was, hoping to pierce it, the blood loss would make him slow, I felt my teeth go through his skin, and then his meat, the hot scalding blood left a iron like taste on my taste buds, he cried and tried to lift me, but I was well wrapped around him. I used my legs to hold him by the waist, and wrapped my arms on his head, so he wouldn't be able to see me. He started to punch me, really hard, the chunk I had bite gave up, and I almost swallowed it. I spit it on the ground, and I was about to bite again when I felt a blinding pain on my stomach, it strong enough to make me lose my grip on him, he took the chance and reverted the situation, he used his free hand to lift my both hands and use it as a handcuff, I was pinched to the ground, the pain was getting stronger, and I felt something hot on me, and I noticed, it was my blood, he was holding a knife big enough to go straight through me. He cursed above me, and I could do nothing as the reality of what was going to happen, struck me. I was going to die, in the middle of a forest without anyone to go to my rescue. Fear made me try to fight, a smirk surged on his lips. His face, his shirt, was covered in blood, and the thing wouldn't stop leaking from his neck.

– Oh no! You won't get away you bitch! You took my play thing, now you will have to do. Let's see how you like it. – His words made me stop fighting, my eyes widened and I knew what was about to happen, he didn't even bother to make me stand up. He dragged me by my feet and a yelp left my mouth. I was making a half dying, half choking sound, I wanted to scream, to curse, but the words failed me, no one would hear, and the girl was still running she had to get away. If I scream, she'd stop running, I couldn't risk that, using my nails I tried to craw away, but when my legs were inside the shelter, I knew I was done. That was the end, so I let go. As ashamed as I am to say this, I stopped fighting, because I knew it was pointless, he knew it was pointless. I would let him do whatever he wanted to do with me, I noticed. It made me feel like a coward, my bravado forgotten, the only chance I had was to kill him while he was distracted enough. My body fell with a thump on the ground, and without a second, he started to strip me, he tore my blouse exposing my black simple bra, my skirt was tore too, and the horror of the situation brought tears to my face and I cried, gritting my teeth, he was talking and hitting me, and I hated how helpless I was, I wanted to kill him, _god have I ever wanted something_… I wanted to make him suffer. And then, the pain came, as I was assaulted again and again by his … his knife was going through my skin and the pain –_ohgodthepaintheshamethehate- _everything was so overwhelming, memories of my childhood went and came from my memory, my parents, they'd be so hurt, my dreams would never be true, the things I held dear, the people I held dear, I would never see them again. _'I wish I had the power to crush him and all of those like him under my hands, I wish I never had to feel so..so… helpless like this'_ Hate swept me from the ground, and I knew that if I was going to die, he'd come with me, my eyes searched for something, anything to hurt him with, and I found it, I smiled, he'd never hurt anyone again, he was close to come, and the pain was greater to me, my first time and my last time, _'how fitting, we'd both have our last time together' _I thought bitterly. And as he came, his hand rose to give the last strike. I felt so violated that just like that, the glass on my hand entered his neck with such force that it went through the other side, a smile on my face, was my last memory, his knife went right through my heart. And we both died.

Or that was what was supposed to happen. I hope he died, because I am certainly **not dead.**

Have heavens heard me and decided to take pity on me on my last moment? If they did, it was meant as a joke.

That's the only reason I was born again, and this time, I had a feeling I should had died quietly without making silly wishes about power and _shit_ because I just got named.

I am Ume Suzuki (The one devoted to the tree's bells), by two people I had never seen in my life. One of them, wearing a hitai-ate, that as my past life reminds me, means Village Hidden by Tree Leave, Konohagakure. I was in a ninja world- _holyshit!_

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I hope it wasn't boring. I want to write a totally different fanfic, people use to focus in the freaksh power and strength that chakra brings, I'm going to try something new. You tell me how you like it.

Reviews are lovely, critic and advice are necessary, being polite is a must. Thank you.

\- Michi, out.


	2. Crimson Feelings

_The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?_

**Edgar Allan Poe**

* * *

When you live in a ninja world, you can't exactly push the 'reset ' Button and go to whatever other place might exist. No, you pathetically cry like a baby. Why? Simple. Because you are just that, a baby. I don't exactly understand how I know I'm not from this world, it just snapped.

I was almost two years old, and one day, I was just playing with a dull kunai, my mom was making originis, and my father was lazing around, he had just come back last night from a mission, and as usual, he'd smoke and steal little bites of food my mother was making, while she constantly nagged at hum because of his lack of health food, and to stop smoking in front of his young daughter, and then it happened.

Like a shock. My spine went rigid like a brick, the hair behind my neck went up, my eyes bulged itself from my sockets, and the blood drained from my face. And I just knew! Perhaps, my young baby mind wasn't evolved enough to understand the complexity of the situation, and it didn't want to accept the situation. Or maybe, the confrontation between my two souls was too much for my body. I fell on my face, or I'd have fallen if my Jounin daddy hadn't been there. I heard someone calling my name, but I felt tired, so tired I couldn't open my eyes.

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I woke up in a hospital, the white walls gave it away immediately, there was no one in the room. It was cold, the sheet was too thin and the window was open, the sky was filled with black clouds and there was a ominous feeling in the air. As if something awful had happened. The silence was almost painful, and my legs ached to move. Sitting up, I tested my limbs to see if everything was working alright, my tiny body was dressed in a simple t-shirt, that looked like a dress on me, but was obviously a man's shirt. Was it my father's? Where was him and my m- NO. They're not my real parents… but they had loved me like they were, and this was a new life, and they deserved to be regarded better than that, so yes, they could, kinda-like-possible-in-a-cute-way be my parents. They were pretty cool after all. Deciding to look at what was really happening I walked to the door, fortunately it was half opened, as if someone had tried to lock, but failed on his haste. I opened the door and stepped on the corridor. Again, the silence was almost painfully loud, something was wrong, but I couldn't for the life of me know what was wrong. Walking as fast as my two little feet could handle, I ran to the stairs, jumping it, my legs swayed and I fell, someone held me almost chokeing me to death by the t-neckband, I was positive my butt was showing, oh well, not like I had much anyway..

— Why the haste little one? Ain't you supposed to be in bed? — As soon as I was on my feet, I turned to look at the stranger. He was young, looked like a teenager, probably a chunin, but there was definitely a weird look on his eyes. Maybe he could tell me where my parents where!

— Sorry…uhm sir. I was looking for my parents; You see, I woke up alone in the hospital, can you tell me where they are? I don't know and… — I trailed off. If he had a weird look before, now… his look became a glare. I blinked for a second, half confused, half scared, because it didn't matter if he was supposed to be one of the good guys, he was a ninja, and he could kill me in half a second flat. The fact just wasn't an awe sparing thought. It took me a blink to be turned on my back, have both wrists tied up, and be throw on his back. Another blink and we were off in the sky, jumping like monkeys on the rooftops. A scream fought its way to my open mouth, but it was cut midway, when I felt a strong pull, and we were again, inside four walls. I tried to not vomit on the man, really, I tried. It felt like riding a rollercoaster in a super high velocity, not a good feeling I assure you. Trying to regulate my breathing, I almost missed the man's next words.

— Sir, I believe we have a spy here. — My mind stopped working for a second. Spy? Where? Wait! Me? But I am a baby! I can't be a spy. I'm barely two years old! I can't be a spy. And how would he even know I am a spy, all I did was ask him where my parents where… and… **_of course! _**Super pluis size shit of all shits! How could I be so stupid! I am barely two years old! What kind of two years old would talk like a seventeen years old! I was supposed to be babbling and stupid talking. 'Cause I was a goddamit **_toddler._** Shit. I could only see the other man's boots, they were pretty cool and dirty as hell. He took one step forward.

— And, what would make you feel like a Konoha citizen, no, a baby, could be a spy? — His voice was pure steel; this was a no-nonsense man that commanded respect. He had an awful chilly aura around him. The chunin straightened out, his back cracked, and his feet were put together.

— She seems to be awfully capable of holding an adult conversation, I found her running in the hospital. She said she had just woken up. I suggest we at least interrogate her, I'm sure you'd think it is suspicious, commander. — OooooH! So there was bad blood between these two beings. The last part had an acid undertone to it. The other man didn't say a word, he simply turned his back and walked down the corridor. The sound of papers being exchanged filled the air, and people were shouting at each other asking for this or that. A particularly shrill cry, made me want to plug my ears, someone stole someone's else coffee. For a moment I forgot why I was on the chunin's back. Only until I could feel my heartbeat on my temples, being held by your feet like a chicken going to the slaughter, yeah not _**really **_comfortable, the blood flows to your head, and you can feel your temples troubling, and you get dizzy, a lot. The moment was over, and the fear and confusion came back. What was I supposed to do? I COULDN'T fool ninjas. I couldn't fool my own mom when I lived on the other world. SHIT! What if I just told them the truth? Maybe they… Oh hell! Who am I trying to fool? Konoha's ninjas only had the reputation of being soft, when you take a close look, the weren't that soft and cozy. They had an entire ala dedicated to Interrogatories. I could be walking to my death now, for all I knew. Should I talk? If I didn't it would definitely look suspicious, the chunin wouldn't ever let me go, if I did talk, maybe I had a chance. I should probably try to dumb it down… but then the chunin would know… oh lord! Why couldn't I be reborn in…lets say…in a cute shoujo or some shit. We suddenly stopped. A door was open, they walked to the center of the room, and the hands holding my feet, let go. The only thing that saved me from a ridiculous fall, was my hands, and even then I hit the ground like a melon, hitting my cheek in the process, there would be a purple mark there. As soon as I fell, someone grabbed me, with a little more care than the damn _chunin, _what didn't mean much anyway, I stared at his pants, avoiding my eyes a second later, I didn't want to see my possible torturer's crotch, thank you. The chair was way to big to me, my feet were hanging, the rope was untied, the man had pretty hands, long fingers with little scars, fingers that would probably feel my insides and…STOP! LET'S NOT GO THERE. I had to spread my arms to reach the arms of the chair; the back was way too far from me. I arranged my dress-shirt to hide my legs, and looked at the man in front of me. Oh! OH! OOO~~H! It was him! **THE Nara Shikaku**! Shikamaru's father and the most intelligent man in the whole… double shit.

The chunin looked at me, face expressionless. I waited a beat and wasn't disappointed when it was said.

— Troublesome. Now, little girl. Why don't we start with your name? — The sigh was there, he put his arms inside his pockets and slouched a little. Aww man! Was he ever cool.

— I'm Ume Suzuki, nice to meet you sir. — I couldn't help but look like a little kid, I was in front of the coolest man to ever walk on earth. His intellect was said to win wars. He was cooler than Naruto to me. The chunin stared me down, I coiled inside.

— Suzuki-chan eh?! — He looked to the chunin by his side, the man nodded and left the room. — Now, can you tell me how old are you? — He asked, looking every bit much bored.

— I think I'm almost two. — Excuse me if I sounded a little proud at the fact.

— And why does a two years old talk like that? — His voice lost the bored tone, and his sharp eyes were fixated on mine. And I was reminded why he was so cool, he was intelligent enough to possibly find out everything about me.

— Ah… I don't know? Its just talk… — I shrank on the sit. Truthfully, I didn't know how I was able to keep a perfect speech. I didn't want to suffer torture and die alone in an alley.

— Hmmm.. do you know what happened? — He asked leaning a little closer to me, staring me in the eyes.

— I...I was…brought here…by him… eh — His sharp eyes became sharper and he frowned. Sighing once more, he leaned back. His eyes never left mine, I swallowed.

— Does that mean you don't know that the village was just attacked? — The moment he said that my breath was cut short. My lung and heart stopped working for a while. My eyes bulged out. The next question my mind formed made my blood run cold.. please…god no! everything but that! Not now! I had just woken up. This can't happen now.

— A… beast of sorts, attacked the village, the Yondaime, our leader gave his life for the village. — Everything happened in slow motion, he looked at me, and I panicked and tried to run, I needed to find them, I needed to find mom and daddy, they could be hurt, or dying, oh lord! What if something had happened? Please god, don't let it happen. I was cut midway, when Shikaku grabbed me by the collar, I tried to get away, but to no avail, he had a steel grip on the shirt. Not thinking I pulled the shirt over my head and ran without a care to the door, probably only made it there because of the shock stamped on Shikaku's face. Had the situation been different I'd be laughing and rolling, a naked little girl outrunning the Jounin Commander, real funny, yeah. The door was suddenly opened and it almost hit me in the face, I took the chance to pass thought the man that opened it.

— Suzuki Akiko and Suzuki Haru — I frozed mid step outside the door — were killed in action. — The world shattered beneath my knees. A hot and cold feeling went through my limbs and spine, crushing my heart. I was hyperventilating_, 'they weren't my real parents, I shouldn't be feeling like this… but they were there, and they loved me, and they played with me, and bought me silly dress, and dad dressed me on his clothes, and mom made us eat fruits before meal, and the smoke like smell always clinged to dad, oh lord! __No!' _The tears left my eyes and I was shacking and wailing like a little baby. It wasn't fair. I wanted daddy and mom. Someone put the shirt over my head, and gently pull me to an embrace. It was awkward, but I couldn't stop the tears, all I remember is we jumping over some rooftops, and stopping inside a big traditional Japanese house. I looked around me, screaming and crying like a stupid kid, a woman came running from inside, my vision was fuzzy and my head felt heavy, the arms around me were arm, the woman asked something but I gave her no answer, because I couldn't stop crying to answer her. My nose was running pathetically, the shirt was all ruined and my hair clinged to my face like it was pasted. Shikaku tried to hand me to the woman, but I held him harder, he shook his head, the woman tried to talk me into it, I looked at her, it clicked, she was a safe one. She was his wife, Shikamaru's mother. She had a warm smile on her face, she opened her arms like who says, _'Come here'_. I went. She shushed me down and bounced me on her arms until I fell asleep.

* * *

I woke the next day, feeling my head light, and my eyes puffy, there was something weird above my lips… snot… yuck…

Everything that had happened went to my head, down my spine, and stopped at my feet. The ground swayed and my knees failed me. This time there was no tears, only the cold realization that I was alone. I didn't want to be alone. I needed the security of a family. Someone to guide me, and be there, like before. I didn't have it anymore. I let myself get used to that fact, and when it felt safe, I tried to get up again, in the third tried I made it. The room was traditional, the black futon I was sleeping in was big, a small desk was on the other side of the room, above it, there was a single dark crimson rose in a vase.

_'Sadness, mourning, rebirth, love.' _**How fitting. **I remember asking… my other mother… why did we give dead people, red roses, and why they were dead. She said that when Abel was slain by his brother (Cain), some of his blood got on the white rosebush that grew around his altar. His dripping blood stained the white roses and from then on red colored roses came about. It was a sing, that the other person would be missed. Deciding, I walked to the door someone had left open yet again. This time, probably in consideration to my height. I'd never reach the doorknob. The wood corridor was wide, there was a garden in front of it, I walked down the corridor, two people were speaking, the voices stopped when I stepped inside, Shikaku and his wife looked at me, she was holding a baby, probably Shikamaru, he was rolled inside a fluffy dark blue blanket, she wore a black kimono mofuku, as Shikaku wore, there was a blonde man sit on the sofa, his blue eyes looked at mine, he also wore black, suddenly, I was self aware, I looked like shit. My face became crimson, and I was turning to go away when the fact that they were wearing mofuku, means they were going to a funeral… My parents, and so many other children's parents would be. Mid step leaving I turned to them. How was I supposed to do it?!

— Uhmm… You're going to… to the… — Yoshino put me out of my misery by handing her husband the baby and walking to me, grabbing my hand and lowering herself to my size, which was, really low.

— Poor thing. Come. We need to wash you up. There is a dress for you too. Do you want to go? — I shook my head, muttering yes. We were about to go down the corridor, when I remembered something. I gave a weak pull on her hand to stop her.

— Uhmm… I…want to give a crimson rose to... mom and daddy. — The last part was high pitched and hurried. She looked to Shikaku that nodded and took me to the bathroom.

The water was warm and it smelt good. I didn't dare ask what was in it for fear of being taken away from the perfumed water. Yoshino scrubbed me down, even when I protested that she'd get water on her mofuku, she washed my hair with a shampoo that smelt like jasmine and dried me up. She combed my unruly, curly dark hair and put it in a sideways ponytail, attaching a white daffodil to it. My curly bang was shorter and impossible to lock, so I put it behind my ear. She helped me wear the mofuku, and when we went outside, Inoichi was holding a bouquet of dark crimson roses, he lowered himself for me, I took it, thanking him quietly and blushing, because he was a really handsome man and had a cute smile. We four made our way to the place where the funeral would be. Shikaku swept me up so we could walk faster.

— Thank you. — I said, hoping they'd understand, I was thankful for everything, really. Yoshino and Inoichi smiled, Shikaku pat my hair, winning himself a scolding from his wife.

The funeral was solemn and the discourse was too long. The whole village was present, I saw Chouji's father, and some people from the Uchiha clan. White hair appeared on my line of vision. Kakashi was there too, he looked lonely and he didn't have a rose like everybody else had, they all had white, I was the only one holding crimson roses. He had lost people too. I let Shikaku know I wanted to go down. He let me.

— Where are you going? — I pointed at Kakashi.

— He doesn't have a rose. I'm going to give him one. — Shikaku looked at me weirdly, but agreed.

I walked to him, it was kinda intimidating, but I wanted to give it to him, I was the only person who knew _everything_ and I wanted to give him something, meaning _how sorry I was_, I could do nothing. I pulled at his pants, he stiffed and looked down to meet my eyes. His eyes were guarded and it was painful to see the hurt on his eyes. I took a rose from my bouquet and held it out for him to take, stretching my arms as far as possible. He stared me for a moment more before taking it, and nodding at me.

So much for a thanks hmm, not that I could blame him, of course. Finally it was our time to mourn our loved ones, in the silence of the moment, I prayed for happy times to come. For all of us.

* * *

_To live is to fear the certainty that one day, all we held dear will be taken from our arms, and we'll be no longer alive._ **\- Me**

This was not a happy chapter, sorry. It was necessary. So, what do you think? Please, leave a review, you can criticize and give advice, remember, just be polite. Also, love you guys. Also, I have no beta, as you can see. T-T

\- Michi, out.


	3. Resolve

_Ainda é cedo, amor_  
_Mal começaste a conhecer a vida_  
_Já anuncias a hora de partida_  
_Sem saber mesmo o rumo que irás tomar._

_Song – O mundo é um moinho, Cartola._

* * *

The days after the funeral were quiet, people were mourning their loss and once again I couldn't sleep. Not because I had nightmares or anything like that, it was just weird sleeping on a house that wasn't mine. It was as if something was missing. Maybe my othersoul was attached to her parents, and that was why it felt weird. I looked at my side, it was 2:54am. Great. Another sleepless night. What was it that was missing? My parents would always talk softly until I fell asleep and father would always smoke in my room telling me a few stories about his missions. What would make me feel in my house? The talk? I highly doubt the Nara would let me sleep with them, even if they let, my teenager mind wouldn't let ME sleep. They weren't my real family. Thanks god, especially considering the… sidetrack, sidetrack, focus in the task now! What if I…? Maybe it would do. Ok. Time to pull the cute-kid-act. I could do it. I had two lifes worth of people doting on my baby self to do this. Yeah. Real peachy. Leaving the room, I braced myself and tried to not make a sound while I walked to their room. Thinking twice I dropped the sneak-act, I was in a ninja's house. Anything remotely suspect would be met with kunai and shuriken here. Best to think before acting in this life, I may not get a third chance. The wood was cold below my little feet and the cute, fluffy_, pink with little deers _(how does that works?), pajamas Yoshino-san had got me made me stumble. I stopped in front of the door, it was to high for me to reach the handle. Should I knock or should I try to open it?

Trying to open quietly equals trying to sneak on his family, equals being dragged to the interrogation cells again, or dying. Okay, I shall knock. Gathering all my will power I held my hand ready to knock and… almost fell on my face again. A very serious looking Shikaku stared at me, arms crossed against his OH! Bare chest! Broad, six-packs upper body. Okaaay, I was staring. And blushing. And looking at the ground. Because as an almost two years old girl, and I was checking a man twenty years my senior, great. Really.

— Troublesome — He sighed and slouched.

— What is it? — For a second my mind decided that this was a good time to use the cute-girl card. Looking at him straight in the eyes I went to the kill.

— I want a cigarette. — I paused. Ok. This did not sound the way it was supposed to sound. He stared at me from above; the discrepancy was so huge he practically towered over me. Damn tall people. He frowned. Quickly taking my chance before the door was slammed on my face I held him by his pant.

— I miss my father's smell. He always smoked in my room. — He frowned again, clearly deciding against saying whatever was on his mind. He sighed again, and muttering something that sounded like 'troublesome' he went inside. For a second I thought he was going to ignore me and pretend it was a dream, but he soon came back holding something on his hand. He crouched and put it on my hand. A pack and a light. I couldn't help myself.

— You smoke? — I asked him, He must have thought my expression was funny, because he smirked slightly and messed my hair. He had slender fingers, the hands of a pianist (or killer in this case, ahem!).

— Shouldn't you be in your room already? — I took the hint and left after whispering a quickly 'thank you'. Inside my room I took a cigarette and lighted it, the smell could come off as annoying to some people, and while I didn't exactly like it, there was something comforting in the tobacco. Lying on the futon I decided it wouldn't do to make the house stink. Shikamaru was a baby after all. After a few minutes I extinguished the fire. That dawn I slept till noon.

* * *

— Can you get me the orange juice, dear? — Yoshino asked. The girl was curiously intelligent; she could easily pass as a Nara. She liked to help in any way.

The little girl almost gave her a heart attack when she passed through the corridor smelling like tobacco. Yoshino gave her husband A look behind the girls back. He just shrugged. And told her she had asked. She finished serving breakfast, the tamagoyaki and orange juice in the table. There was steamed rice (that almost burned because Shikamaru wouldn't stop crying, thanks lord Ume-chan had took him from her), natto, nori, grilled fish, salad, and umeboshi.

* * *

_**Tamagoyaki **_– Rolled eggs

_**Natto**_ – Fermented soy beans

_**Nori** _– Dried seaweed

_**Umeboshi** _– Salt Plums

* * *

— Itadakimasu! Dive in! — The couple started to eat and Yoshino noticed the girl wasn't eating, she had both hands unite, her head was low and she was saying something similar to 'amen'. The girl was praying. Were her parents religious? Interesting. There weren't a lot of religious ninjas, the few that had, followed some unorthodox gods. The girl ate so quickly one would think she was starving. I didn't have the heart to tell her to slow down. Shikaku was silent of course, he couldn't make small talk with her, his spouse, mother of his offspring. To talk with an almost two years old, highly intelligent kid, the Shinigami would have to kick him in the ass.

Ending the meal, I was about to get the dishes when she asked for our attention. Sitting again I wondered what was it she wanted to talk about that required our presence. She rearranged her cushions, because she was way too small to sit on a proper chair, gathering her thoughts together much like Shikaku, for my amusement she put the cards on the table.

— I really appreciate the effort both of you put in making my stay comfortable. But I don't think it wouldn't be propefor me overstay my welcome here any longer. — I was about to interfere when she held her hand up, signing for me to wait. Weird enough, I gave in.

— I'd like to go to the orphanage and apply to the Konoha Orphan Funds. I know that I can live alone. I have the maturity to do it, and honestly, I'd feel like a third wheel if I were to stay here. Please, understand. — I opened my mouth to protest, but Shikaku stopped me by putting his hand on my shoulder and shaking his head. He was so going to hear about it later! Oh, boy!

— Troublesome. — cue, sigh —You do what you think it's best to you. — cue, slouch — Tomorrow you'll have an interview and if everything goes well, you'll be living alone in no time. — Ume was delighted by that information. I was not. Bowing and leaving the room, she skipped down the corridor. I turned to Shikaku, a sly smile adorned his lips while he looked at her back. I knew that smile. I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms.

— I knew there was a reason I had married you. — I winked at him playfully.

— Troublesome woman. — He hung is head. Who knows, maybe in the future we could make them a couple. Wouldn't it be lovely?

The following day was met by a very happy Ume. Yoshino-san had taken it upon herself to make her adorable. Her hair was all curly and shiny, and a lovely variation of a _Tsumami Kanzashi_, that had bells instead of flowers falling in cascades, the ever present flowers were situated above the cascade of little bells that jingled when I moved, this time it was pink carnations, they were used in Ancient Greek to decorate ceremonial crows and their name was a derivation of 'coronation', in Rome they blossoms were used in tributes to the deities, there was even a legend saying they bloomed during and after the death of Jesus Christ, every color having a different meaning, but it essentially meant _good luck_ and _I'll never forget you_. I wondered if she did it in purpose. The kimono she dressed me in, probably worth more than I'd be able to gain in my whole life. It was _Hōmongi _kimono. The main color was a deep bottle green, the lower part had _Koi _in different tons of silver, patterns that flowed over the shoulders, seams and sleeves, circling the length of the fabric, it was the prettiest thing I had seen in my life. I felt very much like a doll.

* * *

**_Tsumami Kanzashi_** \- Folded fabric hair ornament.

_**Hōmongi** \- _Literally translates as _visiting wear._

**_Koi_** \- varieties of domesticated common carp that are kept for decorative purposes in outdoor koi ponds or water gardens.

* * *

She doted on me all the way to the principal entrance/exit. The symbol of the clan was proudly on display in the middle of the abnormally high door. A circle with three 'waved' lines inside it, the first, second and fourth blank spaces between the lines had a line running from the top the bottom of the space between lines. The trees from the Nara Forest provided more than enough shadow to make them sense the whole clan, if a outside were to enter their house, they'd know immediately. In my opinion, they were severely underestimated in the anime. This people could plan **wars**. The word suddenly brought unwanted memories, the death of Neji, Hinata's dear cousin, Ao the mist badass hunter-nin, Inoichi, a really cool guy, and Shikaku, the man that helped me in war. I stopped walking, the fresh memory of my parents whom I'd never get the chance to show my gratitude for giving me this chance surfaced, Shikaku waited patiently for me, hands shoved in his pockets. Tears made their way to my eyes, my resolve strengthened. I'd change things, not just because it was right, because I could do it. I owned at least that, fictional or not, this world was the one I lived now, and I'd do my damned best to save it. No more being useless and weak. I'd not be a sheep like the rest of the civilian, blindly following the orders of someone they barely knew, I'd stand tall and proud in front of them, I'd be their shepherd. Just like in Jhon, 10th, vesicle **11 **"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." I'd be a hell of a shepherd.

The village was somber and you could see the fear in some people face. The civilian would look behind every five minutes, and the kids were all locked inside their house. The part of the village that was damaged was being rebuilt; Yamato was probably running out of chakra somewhere around there. To my surprise there was Uchiha patrolling the streets and ceilings, probably in search for possible infiltrators and generally to reassure the sheep that everything was going to be alright. After all, it wasn't everyday someone's village was layered by a giant demon fox. Thinking about the events to come put me in a somber mood, mirrorwing the face of the people around me.

— Shikaku-sama. — He waited, completely aloof. — I'll repay you for all you did to me. I promise. — I bowed 90graus to put emphasis on my feelings cleaning the moisture gathered around my eyes with the back of my hands. Let it never be said Ume wasn't polite. He simply smirked and shook his head accepting my feelings. I took his hand on mine and we walked through city, one cool and composed, and the other on the tip of her feet to hold his hand. If anything, we made a funny duo.

The interview was everything, but an interview, the insistence of the interviewers to treat me like a kid was damn annoying. The man looked skeptically to me, after a good three hours I was able to convince them _that __**YES**__, I was almost two_;_**YES**__, I was able to live alone_;_ and __**NO!**__ I didn't want them to adopt me. _What happened to the scary looking ninja?! Go figures.

Due to my baby status, the crowd had everything done in minutes. I had a suspicious feeling that the fact that the Nara Clan's Head behind me, had a hand on it too. In less than thirty minutes I had my apartment's keys on my hands. It was located in a building next to the 'Shinobi District' that received that name, for obvious reasons. They got me on the top floor, the apartment for my surprise was really spacious, it had a sleeping area, kitchen and a dining room, the apartment manager had made a deal with our dearest leader, he'd allow the top floor to be used by the orphaned future ninjas in exchange for low taxes. The apartment had everything necessary to a day-to-day life. The bedroom had a comfy bed, a small wardrobe, an alarm. The floor was made of wood and the walls were painted in a decent shade of green, the kitchen was painted in a baby yellow that lightened the mood, it had a simple stove, a two people table and the kitchen sink, both were a little too high for me to reach. The dining room had a black sofa and a fluffy yellow carpet, the kanji for 'Fire' was printed in red on the baby blue wall, the view from the window was amazing, you could see almost everything in the village from here. The academy was close and the huge window from the Hokage Administration Building was almost completely lined with mine, if the Hokage was out, all I had to do was to step out the balcony and wave at him, it was awesome, simple, cozy and warm. It would do. Keys in hand, I waved goodbye to Shikaku and the poor chunin who had to stand by his side while I explored the place, the boy was shaking on his boots. He held my monthly allowance on his hand. It was enough to buy three full set meals per day, if you couldn't cook, he said, at least 30 sets of different attire, we orphans got 40% discount on anything ninja related, clothes, weapons, books, etc… and all that jazz, and we had to go to the hospital for a full check up at least once in a month. A chunin or a genin team would stop by to check on us, orphans, at least once in a month too. Hurriedly, he made a bee line to the door, and stopped remembering something; my allowance would slowly decrease until I became a chunin. Peachy peach.

Closing the door behind me, the fact that I lived alone made me a little nauseous. I knew nothing about addresses and streets here. The next day, I'd start to learn, but before that, time to go to bed.

* * *

_It is still early, love_

_You have barely started to know life_

_Already announced the departure time_

_Even without knowing, which direction you will take._

_Song - (The world is a mill), Cartola_

* * *

Thank you very much for reading this fanfic. I hope you leave a review and follow me! It will make my day happier. Also, congratulate me; I've just finished high school. I'm worried about my story lacking 'feelings', what do you think?

About letting a two years old leaving alone, the fact that Shikaku was with her, was enough to let them know, that she wouldn't be really alone, a clan head does not acompain someone to an interview unless he has ulterior reasons. The village is a mess, people have more to worry about.

Michi out.


	4. Start

"_In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Life__ " by Robert Frost_

* * *

Being a smart girl, or so I liked to think, the first thing I did was to scout the perimeter, meaning I got lost a lot and had to ask for information every fifteen minutes while at the same time fend off strangers who wanted to search for my 'mom', these were mostly civilians. The village had a nice jazz feel to it, hard to put in words but when I was walking I couldn't stop humming to 'But not for Me', perhaps it was the feeling of overall happiness and security that you just didn't get at my first world. Here, people liked to talk to strangers and let their money bags hanging at their arms. The vendors put their merchandise at display and occasionally you would see a ninja jumping on the rooftops, of course, when you stopped to think that the nice feel to the city came from the fact that these people were protected by people who killed mercilessly to ensure their village economical, political and social environments were up to the best – your mood soured pretty quickly.

My first weeks were almost all spent in the same way, sometimes I would get a quick meal and go out and about exploring and getting to know people. I even came by the Nara's clan head coincidentally. Of course, he made me stop to talk, Yoshino pretty much forced me to attend to one of her special meals – Special because there was someone, read me, to compliment her food without having to be prod – baby Shikamaru was mostly quiet I left before it was dark with too much food and another kimono, what made me think that maybe the encounter wasn't all that coincidental. The appointment at the Konoha Hospital was smooth the doctor had nothing bad to say about my overall health, he was dare I say surprised an _orphan-civilian-baby _could take care of herself, his words, not mine.

As I had so much free time on my hands, I started to do what I loved the most. I started to recreate the Earth culture. From poetry to books, pieces and songs. I did it all. The poetry was the easiest, Robert Frost was light and made me feel like a wiser person every single time I recited it, my favorite would always be 'The road not taken' not only because of the obviously religious context but because of my own personal struggles. To be or not to be. A ninja that is.

Did the world really need one more assassin? The more I thought about it, the more I didn't like the concept of killing for the good of the village. As a self proclaimed old soul I really wanted to give these people a taste of all the cultural and religious options my old world had. Perhaps, it would do them some good. Konoha was polytheist hands down; there was so many goddess and gods. The regular ninja normally didn't take religion to heart, after all they could die any second in a mission, no amount of gods was going to change that, they adopted a cynic view in life that was understandable when you put yourself in their place. I wonder how they would take _'Thou shall not kill'. _Probably not well, since it would automatically condemn all of them to hell. Perhaps an edited version of the bible would be possible. Lord forgives my pride for thinking myself good enough to rewrite His words. But what purpose would I have in this world if not to spread His words? In Mark 16: 15-16 He said_ "__Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned."_ And in Revelation 22: 18-19 "_I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book". _Strengthening his words again in Proverbs 30: 5-6 _"Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar."_ And Deuteronomy 4:2 _"You shall not add to the word that I command you, nor take from it, that you may keep the commandments of the __Lord__ your God that I command you."_ So I would not add, but some things just wouldn't work in this world, there was no need to make the Hokage have words with me for initiating a revolution against ninja, especially since it would only increase the blood spewed on earth. After a careful analyze I came to realize that I wouldn't be a good ninja but I had to try, even though I would always be against killing. All I wanted was a simple life, to be recognized as the most famous civilian, a political and cultural carrier. I would start small, publishing a few books and poetries, just enough to get the public attention. I wanted to be able to travel between the countries, spreading His words and giving people a chance to get to know a more cultural side to the world. Meaning, I would immortalize Edgar Allan Poe, Frank Sinatra, Shakespeare, Melville, Tolkien, George R.R. Martin and J. K. Rowling –just because I can – Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Jefferson. It would be hard but I wouldn't stop there, Nat King Cole, Dvorak, J.S. Bach, Louis Armstrong, Mozart and so many others, whole centuries of literature and music, politics and economy. I would do it all. Life was _fun._ Needless to say the amount of paper I had to buy was scary. My first task would be learn to write in this world proper Japanese, as to not cause suspicious, then I would move on to write in my mother's language and then to Japanese. It would be hard enough to find the right words and don't lose the rhythm and meaning of the songs or pieces. _Joy_. Another aspect of Konoha that never failed to amaze me was how they didn't have jeans! I searched everywhere and I COULDN'T find anything similar to denim. THAT was going to change. Fashion here was abysmal. Ignore the fact that ninja wore the same outfit every single day. It was depressing. All those cute little adjusts teenagers did on their clothes were inexistent here; it was like everybody dressed in a pattern. Civilians used mostly conservatives clothes and ninjas dressed military- ish, with a few exceptions - i.e Naruto and Sakura – and there was no sneakers here. The main problem was I needed to bond with the newest ninja generation, which meant I would need to become at least a genin. It would make it easier to buy certain materials and get contacts out of the village; Also, ninjas looked down on civilians. It is human nature to scorn those who didn't go through the same experiences, or to create bonds with those who shared their hardships. So, genin it was. _May God help me, I think I just condemn myself._

* * *

**Two years later**

Turns out I didn't have to wait for a eternity for the genin that checked on me bring up the Academy subject. All my careful planning was for nothing. The Jounin-sensei whose name I just can't remember asked me if I had interest in join the Academy, which I said yes, and he said to _'Be at the Academy gate at 0800 hours tomorrow'. _Talk about anticlimactic.

To enter the Academy, one had to meet basically the following requirements.

To love Konohagakure and want to help preserve peace and prosperity; Which I didn't get entirely since you was signing up for assassinations missions and bullshititng other military governments.

To be generally well in the head and have a healthy body, since being sick would defeat the whole_ ninja_ aspect of being… well, a ninja.

When I got to the gates there was about two dozen kids waiting outside. Some looked about six years old, others eight. I was probably the youngest of them, which Lord knows why apparently gave the girls _cooing_ rights. One word, annoying. I put on my best get-the-heck-away glare but they just went all '_awwwwn'_. Maybe, I MIGHT be able relate to Sasuke now. Big and fat, MAYBE.

At exactly 0800, or what I assumed it to be the gates opened and some weird dude with a chin dimple started to blab about how Konoha was perfect and how it was an honor to serve the village and how we were handpicked to carry that honor and blablabla I zoned out after that. After an eternity he started to hand out applications we had to sign because after that we were supposed to be under swear to keep the village _secrets_, ahem! Secrets…. Imagine that. And there wasn't a place to parental signatures, which made me think we were all orphans, therefore expandable and cheap. Half of these kids wouldn't get past chunin; so really, it wasn't as much as being a honor working for the well of the village as it was a question of giving back with interest the money the Hokage had spent on us. _Politics. _It was so much like discounts and cheap offers. Triple the price because there is always some innocent bystander that believes the product is better because it's expensive, than after a couple weeks give a 50% discount. No matter the outcome, you will win.

No matter, at the end of the week I was in class. After the initial mess where kids started to cry and the teachers had to drag some to them to their respective classes, it was clear who was top dog and who wasn't. The teachers hand a subtle way to separate the proverbial week from wheat. Mostly the clan kids and the exceptional – be it on intellectual or physical aspects of the classes – were put together, sitting next to each other or the teacher may ask one of the kids to ask the other to play, stuff like that. Not subtle at all but kids at this age don't get subtle.

The initial curriculum wasn't particularly hard it consisted of mathematics, geography, memorizing the Shinobi Rules and all that boring stuff that one day would save our asses. Surprisingly I had Neji and Lee on my class. Lee was as showed on the anime a happy boy. A REALLY excited-about-anything boy, I thought he was like that because of Gai, but apparently no. He scares me sometimes, and those bushy brows. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not one to judge people based only on their physical looks, but the first time I had to hold my horses to don't laugh on his face because all I could think was 'caterpillars'. One would expect him to be bullied due his features but he was such a nice boy! Always eager to help you, no one ever got angry at him for long. Then, at the other side there was Neji. The stoic prodigy. He was a sad kid, there was no other way to put it. No one would talk to him out of fear of retaliation, he would eat lunch alone under a tree and practice _kata_ until it was time to go to the class. After a month I got the opportunity to hear his voice in a really embarrassing moment of my life I wish I could erase from my memories. I was hanging in a bar upside down when one of the boys joking around made me lose my grip, in one swift motion Neji, who was next to me held me face down like a potatoes sack…. And my panties were on display for all the kids in our class. To my displeasure, after that I got known as the '_Strawberry panties girl'_. The incident led to a weird friendship with Neji Hyuuga. Well… maybe _friendship_ is a little far stretched… oops?!

* * *

Well, first sorry for going so long without updating this FF. I'm honestly sorry, but I went through a radical change in life and all that jazz.

Hope you guys enjoy. This time I will try to post at least once a week. Honestly.

You may like or don't. Let me know, either way I'll be happy you took the time to read. - michi out


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